Experience of 

SOURCE Process & Breathwork

By Renate Reich

Midwife and Mother. German Training

15 January 2000               

Translated from the German by Maya Morgan  

 

My name is Renate Reich.  I am 39 years old and live with my husband and 2 children in the south of Germany.  I work there as an independent midwife in my own homebirth practice.  For 12 years now I have known the breathwork, Healing Birth Rebirthing, as taught by Binnie A. Dansby.  I was trained to become a SOURCE Process & Breathwork coach in the 3-year training taught by Ms Dansby.  For the past 5 years, with the help of this breathwork, I have worked intensively with my clients, the pregnant women, with their partners, with couples in birth preparation and as a support in high-risk pregnancies and after traumatic birth experiences.

In 1988, I heard a lecture by Ms Dansby when she was on a speaking tour through Germany.  The theme was: The Birth of Babies in Ecstasy.  I knew that this was possible from my own experience of my son’s birth in 1982.  I had not met anyone with whom I could share my thoughts and had not read anything about it.  I made the decision to get to know this particular breathwork, and enrolled on the 3-year training.  In 1989 I started my midwifery training in Bensberg, Germany.  Because of my study schedule and my role as a Mother, I discontinued the breathwork training until the end of1992.  I completed the 3-year course in 1994.  Here I had, for the first time, the possibility to express my fears concerning my responsibilities as a midwife, and to consciously feel them and understand them. A very experienced colleague of mine had said at that time,” If you are afraid, you can’t work as a midwife.”

I found another way!  Through the self-experience that we have during the breathwork sessions and the other processes that are used, awareness and attention concerning physical and psychological states of being are heightened; we stop judging and through that are able to listen.  These very important results are part of my personal experience.  I had the opportunity to re-experience my own birth.  Through pictures and sensations, I recognized my self as a newborn.  The outcome for me was that I became aware of the background of my own fear of birth.

My mother gave birth to me after months of fear of death.  My 2 sisters, born before me, had died, one intrauterine and one just after birth.  She could never talk to anyone about it.  She felt she had to be brave.  My mother was very alone and was even very afraid to be in contact with her baby in utero, because she didn’t trust how it would all go.  When I was a small child, I developed asthma as a result of the trauma, which I only realized later.  It was always so, that when a lot of energy was released (birth contractions) everything in me contracted.  This was one of the things I worked through with the breathwork.  At this time, I found myself surrounded by safe and competent people who themselves had had similar experiences and were trained to deal safely with feelings. This experience serves me today over and over again in my contact with people, especially in dealing with pregnant women and their partners.  Often it is the first time that the pregnant couple talk about their fears and insecurities.  In my midwifery training it was not possible to think about what it means to be with people going through existential experiences and to feel myself safe and competent with this.  I experience this; not only with young colleagues, but also in intimate conversation with more experienced midwives.  They often speak about their fears and their difficulty to feel supported and to support others.

I often breathe with pregnant women who have had a previous Caesarean section.  Through their previous story, they reveal resistance and have been traumatized by that experience.  In some circumstances these were women who, because of their seemingly difficult previous story had not been able to find a midwife or a doctor who would agree to support them to have a natural birth, or even to adequately prepare them for birth.  My strength lies in my ability to provide a ‘space’ in which women can let go and are allowed to feel their feelings.  Through the support and confidence in themselves, they develop courage and trust in their female power.  They hear, perhaps for the first time, that birth is a natural event.  They begin to make choices and take on responsibility for themselves.  They get into deep contact with the baby, who responds to the inner conversation.  The yet unborn is always experienced as an individual.  The children that are listened to feel recognized, respected, and honored.  After birth they are often more awake and approachable . . . ‘they really communicate’ to the great surprise of many of the people around them.  I am always deeply touched in the breathing sessions, to see how a mother love the child in her belly and consciously creates a safe space for its psychological, physical and spiritual development.  These children grow in a body that feels safe and intimate.  The birth results from the above mentioned “difficult cases” were wonderful, quick, spontaneous natural births with satisfied mothers and happy babies.  These results almost always happen when the pregnant woman is willing to get into the breathing process and to feel.  This is good preparation for the experience later on when they have to work with the birth contractions.  The women learn what it feels like to handle a lot of energy.