NOW!
Especially for Dads!
INTRODUCTION
ecstatic birth – PREPARATION
AND SUPPORT PROGRAM
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Ecstatic Birth is a call for a
revolution, a revolution in the way we think about birth, and, as a
result, the way we give birth and support birth. Ecstatic Birth is an invitation to
participate in healing the most ancient of thought forms, “BIRTH
HURTS. A
well-known psychologist, Margo
Anand, has said, “One moment of ecstasy
can transform your life.” Ecstasy is an experience of expansion made possible by surrender to and acceptance of what is happening right now. Ecstasy is not the absence of feeling. Ecstasy asks that we embrace all that we are feeling in the moment and make a conscious choice to say "Yes" to those feelings, no matter how we perceive them. Then all of our powerful energy can flow and shift and change to a transcendent, empowering event that will set the foundation for expanded creativity in all areas of life. When a physical experience is as intense as birth certainly is and there is a high expectation of pain, it is essential that the support available to women be constant and confident, compassionate and creative, as well as courageous. I choose to use the word ecstatic to describe birth in order to awaken thought and exchange. Profound change requires the energy of strong feelings and responses. I have not been disappointed. One incident reminded me, yet again, of the culture of fear surrounding birth. Pat Bennaceur, an excellent therapist and Ecstatic Birth Coach in England, worked closely with a young woman to co-create a satisfying, ecstatic birth. Subsequently, this birth featured in an article and an interview in a national newspaper. The article, titled “From Agony to Ecstasy”, told about the self-development work that the young woman had done in the years between the births of her two children. Pat, justifiably pleased, asked her stepmother if she had seen and read the article. “Yes, dear, I did read it”, she said. “But I can’t believe it! I cannot believe that birth can be anything but excruciating, dreadful and humiliating; the most terrible experience that a woman can go through!” This fundamental thinking about birth is prevalent. These cultural beliefs lead women and their partners to leave birth to the medical establishment and their technology. Midwives, doctors, nurses, therapists, and educators, the people who are with the powerful energies of birth everyday, must lead the way to more enlightened birthing practices. The strong debates and media coverage at this time are bringing our deepest fears into the conscious awareness. When we are aware, we can make informed choices for ourselves and our future. Unexpressed fear quells confidence,
and blocks creativity.
Unexpressed fear stops the flow of
energy and invites intrusion.
Unexpressed fear causes separation
and motivates victim consciousness.
Since 1986, only 3% of the births with a focus on Ecstatic Birth work have had any intervention at all. While in most of civilized society the average national Caesarean rate alone is well above 25% and intervention is upwards of 80%. I began a life long relationship with birth through the experience of giving birth to my two sons. The first, in 1966, was extremely painful and I was drugged. The second, in 1968, was drug free, and I had an expanded, "beyond time and space" experience that I described as an orgasm. I learned then, quite spontaneously, that birth could be ecstatic. In the subsequent 32 years I have realized, experienced and witnessed that ecstasy can be a conscious choice and can be learned. In her landmark book, MOLECULES OF EMOTION, 1997, neuroscientist Candace Pert, states, "A shocking but exciting fact revealed by the opiate-receptor findings was that it didn't matter if you were a lab rat, a First Lady, or a dope addict -- everyone had the exact same mechanism in the brain for creating bliss and expanded consciousness." Ms Pert goes on to highlight the well-documented peptide, respiratory link, showing that there are more endorphin receptors in the lungs than any other part of the body. Birth has become my greatest
teacher. In each moment we
are creating the foundation consciousness or attitude of the next
moment. After the birth of my
first son, I made a clear declaration. I said with all my feeling energy,
"There must be a better way to give birth, we know too much about
ourselves not to know this. I
am not going to give birth again unless I find another way." That declaration was a form of
commitment. My commitment
brought all the forces together for the desired result. At the birth of my second son I
had the support of the father of my boys, a trained coach and educator,
and my obstetrician. During
pregnancy I met with women who had had "pain free" experiences. These meetings supported me
greatly. I read all the books
that I could find on the subject of psycho prophylaxis, the method of
birth preparation developed by Dr. Lamaze in France in the 1950’s, and
complementary subjects. I
considered myself to be in training, as though for an Olympic event. I know now that knowledge
about the possibilities and support were the major contributing factors in
my "success". I have been exploring the impact of my own conception, pregnancy and birth since 1975. After a painful separation and divorce in 1971, I began a deep self-evaluation process. The path led from the psychiatrist's office through many processes and workshops to a hot tub. Here, began the work with psycho-spiritual process and breathwork known as rebirthing, pioneered by Leonard Orr in 1974. I started my work with Leonard in New York City in the fall of 1975. This powerful and effective breath therapy based on the philosophy, thought is creative, was in its very early stages. I began to remember my own birth and
the births of my sons. I
experienced extraordinary energy moving in my body and remembered the fear
that those feelings had brought forth in my first labor. I also remembered the orgasm like
event. I somehow knew that
part of my Soul's purpose was to discover how to have an experience like
that, consciously. What was
it that had happened for me?
What was it I did or didn’t do? What did I think? What didn’t I think? How could I reproduce that
experience again for myself or for other women? I actually think that I know
how. AND the truth is I can’t
do it for someone, no one can
do it for someone else. However, we can make a
conscious choice to work together, allow support and learn how to have a
transcendent, empowering experience giving birth and living life. I have been supporting others to
re-experience and heal the impact of their prenatal and birth experience
on a full time basis since 1978.
In 1979, I was given the opportunity to begin my work with pregnant
couples. I have spent
thousands of hours with people remembering and integrating their births in
private sessions and in my workshop and training settings. I have also spent thousands of
hours with women and their partners before and during pregnancy and while
giving birth. I have
listened, counseled, observed and coached. The work has always been
focused on healing the negative decisions made in the pre and perinatal
stages of development.
Transforming life by healing birth has been the theme of my
self-development trainings in Germany, England and Denmark since
1988. The work once known as
Healing Birth Rebirthing and is now Source Experience Breathwork. SOURCE, Creative Life Systems,
based in Copenhagen, Denmark, is a three-year training process for
breathwork coaches, Ecstatic Birth preparation and birth support, as well
as self-development.
Everyone has the opportunity to learn to birth their babies,
their projects and their lives consciously aware in every moment that they
can choose a way that is empowering and promotes satisfaction. The development of Ecstatic Birth work has its foundation in my personal work, psychological, emotional and spiritual, as well as in study of the pioneering achievements of Wilhelm Reich, Carl Jung, Arthur Janov and Stanislav Grof. The social scientist, Ashley Montagu, has had a profound impact on my thinking about being a woman and being human. In the field of conscious birthing practice, I acknowledge the work of Dr. Dick-Read, Dr. Bradley, Dr. Lamaze, Dr. Leboyer, and Dr. Odent. I must acknowledge the spiritual master, Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov, who as long ago as 1938 spoke to his students in France about the influence of the mother during gestation and the need for conscious awareness about all aspects of the environment of the unborn child. My heroes in the field of prenatal and perinatal psychology are Thomas Verny, M.D., David Chamberlain, Ph.D. and Prof. Peter Fedor-Freybergh, M.D. I am grateful for their faith and their friendship. "This is birth. The
torture of an innocent. What futility to
believe that so great a cataclysm it's traces are
everywhere - in the skin, in the bones, In all our human folly.
In our madness, our tortures, our
prisons. In legends, epics, myths.
In the Scriptures." Dr. Frederick Leboyer, 1975, BIRTH WITHOUT VIOLENCE In modern society we are faced every day with the consequences of high technology birthing practices. They begin by separating a woman from her family and the familiar at this most tender of times, and move on to intrusive intervention in the natural process with fetal monitoring, drugs for relief of pain, forceps, and the knife. All are practices of control rather than co-operation. A very high percentage of healthy women do not need the chemicals and the instruments. In a paper titled Psycho-Technology of Pregnancy and Labor, Pre and Perinatal Psychology and Medicine, 1988, Dr. Thomas Verny puts forth two laws of the psycho-technology of labor: Verny's First Law: The quantity of
technological devices in the labor room is inversely proportional to the
amount of human contact between staff and patient. Verny's Second Law: The quantity of
technological devices in the labor room is directly related to the degree
of discomfort experienced by the patient. All the research shows that pregnancy,
birth and the days immediately following birth have a profound impact on
the entire creative process we call our Life. Babies are educable in the womb,
and they are conscious at birth. Conception, pregnancy and
birth, are an intense and clearly defined metaphor for the mechanics of
manifestation. In order to create anything, a painting, a meal, a
business, a building or a baby, we must first conceive it; think about it
(Conception). The next step
is to take action, to give the energy and time that it takes to give life
to the concept (Pregnancy).
Commitment and persistence are ingredients that are required in
varying measure depending on the concept. Babies take 9 months and a meal
can take ½ an hour, whereas a cathedral can take many years. In time we produce a result
(Birth). Many concepts remain
just that, a concept, because we have chosen not to give the energy
necessary to get to the desired result. Mysteries about our relationship
with creativity and with relationship itself are solved when we begin to
explore our own birth stories.
A couple conceiving and a mother carrying a child are physical
symbols of our connection and co-creation at the most profound levels of
consciousness. All of the
people involved with this fundamental life process are affected by and
cause an effect on the miracle of birth, no matter what the
circumstances. I believe that we can
transform the quality of life on earth by transforming the quality of the
birth experience for EVERYONE. One of the things that I have learned from being with birth and the effects of birth is that what we think about birth, we think about life. In order to co-create this transformation a great change must take place in our consciousness about birth. The creative process, birth, is not simply a mechanical, physical process. It is important to employ heart and spirit as well as mind. Love and intuition have as much importance here as instruments. Honor, respect and self-esteem are as vital in the conception of the possibility of ecstatic birth as technical skills. Everyone involved with the process is an integral part of this revolution. We are perfectly designed, physiologically and psychologically, to give birth in ecstasy. What we do need is support and more education regarding the long-term impact of birth for everyone involved in the birthing process. The results we produce are always consistent with our beliefs and expectations. In order to bring Ecstatic Birth, Ecstatic Life to reality, everyone must be included, everyone with a navel. Midwives, doctors, nurses, therapists and educators must make a commitment to be more and more conscious in all the stages of conception, pregnancy and birth, knowing that our presence, knowledge and wisdom makes a difference. We all have an effect on every outcome, just as every outcome has an effect on each of us. As we deepen our understanding through self-experience, we can then educate pregnant women and their partners, birth professionals, and the young people who are the parents of the future. How many women and their partners
know this about natural pain relief? How many women have the opportunity
to listen in and freely express their fears about birth? How many women report that their
experience of giving birth was empowering and wholly satisfying? How many midwives report that their
experience of supporting birth is empowering and wholly satisfying? Do you have the support that you
need? A recent survey to be published in England in May 2001 shows that only 7% of women have a normal, physiological birth. This is not good enough. Human beings are not assembly line products. England is not alone. We can observe more and more technical intervention in birth all over the world. Midwives are leaving the profession on a regular basis. Burnout is one of the most prevalent of their complaints. Although they are well trained technically, they are compassionate women who are touched deeply by what they have to deal with every day. It seems that every birth gives birth to more fear about birth. There is a major imbalance. Energy is blocked in chaos and confusion. Birth professionals and women, alike, want answers, and society needs them. The time has come for us to bring our attention to the profound personal and cultural impact of conception, pregnancy and birth on all of life. The time has come to respect and use the information that we have gathered. The time has come to slow down and take the time to acknowledge, speak, and feel our birth stories. Once explored, patterns and influence are apparent. Everyone I know who has integrated the reality of consciousness before and during birth, approaches birth differently. The fact that birth affects all that we think and do is not an indictment. Acceptance of this fact actually brings us closer to wholeness and deeper understanding of ourselves and of others. Birth and early childhood memories held at the level of the subconscious form patterns of behavior and expectation and attraction. I have found that one significant aspect of the subconscious is what I call the “Baby that lives in your heart”. To acknowledge its existence is an act of compassion and forgiveness and sets the stage for profound spontaneous change. As we bring what has been thought to be the ‘underworld’, the ‘dark side’, to the light of awareness, it is no longer dark. When we employ the breath consciously, we can gain access to strong repressed feelings, experience them and release vital life energy. Revealing a part of the subconscious to be tender and innocent and in need of attention and loving care can provoke a whole range of feelings from anger to sadness to exaltation followed by a deep relaxation and sense of well being. In this state of relaxation and connection with our history, we become aware of our choice for life and our original intent. When our all-pervasive love is revealed it extends to all creation, and we can be present wherever we are without judgment. We can be creative with our lives, our tools and our technology. If we can say, “Yes”, to the ‘baby
that lives in our heart’, we can then and only then say an unequivocal,
“Yes”, to the babies born to us and through us. Personal history is the history of
all humankind. We can be
leaders in the conscious evolution of humanity. I extend my honor, respect and
deep gratitude to everyone who is co-creating conscious evolution with me
and to all those who are holding the vision of babies being born through
peace and, YES, even pleasure.
Ecstasy can be a conscious
choice.
Conceive the birth of consciousness that is certain that it is
safe in the world, supported and loved. Conceive the birth of consciousness that embraces feelings and
opens easily to higher and higher Conceive the birth of consciousness that knows that it has a
choice about what to think about every
experience.
Conceive the birth of consciousness that perceives itself as
innocent, an expression of love co-creating.
Conceive the birth of consciousness that remembers its Soul's
Purpose to serve by being present
without
judgement. Conceive the possibility of all the
members of the Family of Humanity participating fully in the BINNIE A. DANSBY 2001
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