NOW!
Especially for Dads!
Experience of Source Experience Breathwork
By Barbara Kauth
Midwife and Mother 16 January 2000
Translated from the German by Maya Morgan
Healing Birth Rebirthing (HBR)
is now known as (SP&B) SOURCE Process & Breathwork
My most important experience with rebirthing happened when, surrounded by loving support, I relived parts of my birth (even saw). It is a wonderful method that makes it possible to remember details.
After
2 years of rebirthing breathwork, some of the first accurate pictures of my
birth appeared during a session. “I was lying naked and wet between the
legs of my mother, just born. My
mother was anesthetized with gas and air and was, in spirit, someplace else.
The midwife, busy with something else, walked through the room at a
distance of 4 to 5 meters from me. I
couldn’t see the doctor, but he was in the room.
My feeling was as it I was a piece of meat on a platter. My body was immobile. It
was cold. My thoughts were ‘There
must be another way to do this’. I
felt very alone and unnoticed. Everybody
around me was occupied with something else, not with me or near me.”
And another picture is: “I’m lying there after the birth and the midwife slowly and very carefully puts the suction tube through my mouth into my stomach. My body clearly remembers this uncomfortable feeling. I sense that the midwife is only doing this so that she would have ‘done something’ at this birth (it all went easily and quickly before). It was as if, I, the baby, knew what she was thinking.”
A further picture: “The doctor looks at me with much love. It is as if he knows or has a sense that I am really ‘there’. He picks m up and, gripping me tightly by the feet, holds my body with the head down. My body arches back, overstretches, and my spine is put under a lot of strain. At that moment I draw back my initial trust and withdraw into myself. A human being closes him or her self on the inner. I closed myself off.”
I saw this picture when I was 36 years old. Later more memories were added to these pictures.
“As the doctor held me by the feet, by mistake one of my legs fell down.” This, of course, wounded me intimately, deeply. It was an extreme opening for a newborn who is more used to a position like a frog.
All
these pictures that I have shared as personal examples made me sad, and also
angry, while I was reliving them. I
have often seen these pictures over and over again.
I became aware that none of the people concerned had done this on
purpose. I clearly sensed that they
all acted from what they knew and that they all, my mother and father included,
totally had acted out of love. They
really wanted the best for me. I
really believe today that they didn’t know how I experienced it, and how
conscious and present I was. SOURCE
Process & Breathwork is
a gentle and great method, because it gives gentle and loving support.
When I went through all the above experiences/memories, there were people
sitting next to me who gave me their full attention.
They touched me with love and gave me the feeling, by speaking
affirmations, that
my
body
and
I
were
safe
with
them. But,
first
and
foremost,
they
were
there
with
me
with
their
love. In their loving presence,
it was possible for me to remember my intense experiences.
From my own sessions, I now know how babies perceive touch, words, other people’s feelings, taste, smell and the physical environment. It is often possible to remember this in fine detail. Over the years, all these experiences have strongly affected the way I work as a midwife. In my work I have moved from ‘doing’ to ‘being’. The most beautiful births have been, for me, the ones where I was there with my full attention, and there was nothing else to do than to be a loving presence. This is possible because of the understanding that has come from remembering my own birth.
Through rebirthing, I had, the thought and feeling that, “Birth is Safe”, for the first time.
My whole training as a midwife was dominated by the thoughts, “Something could happen anytime.” and “I must be prepared for emergencies.” I have dealt well with emergencies in my 12 years as a midwife. I have learned, very slowly and sometimes with fear around me, to accompany babies gently. I have learned to feel my feelings at the birth and in my work and to respect the people that I accompany and those with whom I work. I have learned to make ‘space’, also when it didn’t feel comfortable. I have learned that my presence makes a difference; and that it is important for me to look after myself, so that I can better care for others. I have learned to nourish myself well. I have learned all of this through rebirthing.
This breathwork has helped me to strengthen my back, to try new ways, to see that birth is safe, and to experience that the Mother and the Child know exactly what is right for them. Most of all , it has taught me what a wonderful treasure lies in my own birth story, and how wonderful Life is when I am here with Me and for Me. SOURCE Process & Breathwork is a method that, in a good and direct way, leads us to ourselves, and through that, our potential becomes more visible.
Lovingly used, this breathwork teaches us thoroughly about birth and its importance!